60, No Kids - "Pie Crust Woman" #20
Who's got your back as you age?
60 no kids and a Pie Crust Woman - childfree with an ageing parent(s) - that’s me. Not as well-known perhaps as Sandwich Man/Woman but it’s where I happily find myself.
No safety net
Ageing without the ‘safety net’ of children is multifaceted. Of course I get that just because one has children (whether naturally, adoptive, step, foster or other) there are no guarantees that they will be there as one ages. So these thoughts are for those ‘with yet without’ too.
Ageing with and without children became visible on my recent Saga cruise with my mum1. There were a number of mother daughter combos in the mix. Currently my mum is independent, sociable and loves life. Her scaffolding, the presence of me, my bro and her many friends.
Ageing without children, or others of the next generation, to look out for you does have the potential for challenge, not insurmountable but worthy of consideration and planning.
These issues will hopefully be well into, if not beyond, my and your 1000Weeks2 so today’s blog is really just a brain dump of things that are front of mind post cruise and a subject that I’ll return to.
Money matters
Let’s start with Money.
As a Chartered Financial Planner I’ve had numerous discussions around money with ageing clients:
Wills – who should I leave my money to? I have nieces and nephews but… my friends are all as old as me, who should I chose as an executor(s)? I know I can chose a solicitor but…I give money to many charities but I’m not sure about larger bequests or legacies…how do I decide?
Power of Attorney – I have no one younger than me that I really trust to make decisions on my behalf around money and my welfare if I am no longer able…what should I do?
Financial decisions – who can help me make sense of my money, make complex decisions or keep me safe from scams?3
Health and mobility
Not to mention health and mobility:
Who will notice if I start to get muddled?
Where will I live and who might support me if I start to get frail or my health deteriorates?
How on earth do I think about Care? Who will help me downsize my ‘stuff’? How do I navigate the benefits and allowances system?
Who will advocate for me?
What does my community of the future look like?
Who will hold my hand when I get scared?
Living – no beige
Numerous research articles tell of the impact of loneliness on mortality.
My child free friends and I often talk about co-living. Pooling our resources, buying a large house or small holding, ideally close to the sea, looking after each other and buying in help as we need. I’d love to do this and then the nerdy financial planner, ex nurse and realist in me can’t help but ruminate on the details to be overcome with this model4
An alternative is a retirement village. My partner’s dad, aged 86, lives in one and loves it. Having being very resistant to moving there on the basis that it was “full of old people” when he and his wife moved in (she sadly died just over 2 years ago) he now cannot recommend it enough. Given half the chance he would be the ‘poster boy’ for making the move to supported living sooner rather than later. My partner, who is a Town Planner, tells me that the next generation of ‘homes’ are in fact gearing up for the Punk Generation – no beige in sight!
And of course there could be the eternal Saga cruise…
How about you?
Thankfully, I can help my mum with all of this. And if I don’t know the answers, I can find those that will. But what about those without children now? As well as the future ‘Me’s’.
How about you – what are your concerns around ageing, with or without children? What plans or structures are you putting in place? For my financial planner friends, what conversations might you be having with your clients to help them through these concerns?
Do drop me a line, I’d love to hear from you.
Until next time
Ruth x
I know some of you are keen to hear my Saga experience. As predicted, I had a very special time with my mum.
It was beautiful to experience the Norwegian Fjords. The cruise, from the quality of the food, entertainment, crew, excursions, organisation and the ship itself, could not be faulted. I can see the appeal. But, let’s just say, it’s not for me, for a good few years or so to come, I hope ;-)
In case you need a reminder - 1000Weeks from age 60 = age 80
If you need pointers or recommendations for well qualified and trustworthy financial planners drop me a line or take a look at the Society of Later Life Advisers (SOLLA)
More to follow on co-living another time…
It is hard isn’t it Susan. I applaud your determination to give money away early. I have seen many wait and wait and wait when in fact the recipients, children or otherwise, time of need is often many years earlier than the givers older age or death. The added benefit been you can watch and enjoy the impact of your giving
Future me?
Hard to imagine, you pose some great questions.
But on the subject of financial planning
I plan to give everything away early