What happens when great story telling = life? #087

Riot Women

Sally Wainwright, women of a certain age, a rock band – can there be a more perfect combination?

Riot Women

We’ve enjoyed Calendar Girls and Military Wives, (and the men in The Full Monty), all of which were great entertainment. But BBC’s Riot Women has hit the zeitgeist. It is compulsive viewing.

Of course, we know anything written by Sally Wainwright is a must see. Locate it in Hebden Bridge - the beauty spot and lesbian mecca in the Calderdale district of West Yorkshire (which crazily I am yet to visit) - and expectations rise. Layer on the incredible cast, including Tamsin Greig¹, a powerful script and superb story-telling and you get truly binge worthy TV.

Riot Girls explores many dark themes including invisibility, loneliness and misogyny. Balanced with friendship, love and the importance of community and fun.

Invisibility

The invisibility of women of a certain age. I know I feel it at times.

Sometimes after an exhilarating and murderous 0730 spin class in the City, I’m practically trampled by the gorgeous young things getting showered and coiffured for work.

Or walking into certain shops, bars and restaurants.

Less so when I catch someone’s eye on the tube and they offer me their seat. Cue relief and indignant thoughts:

“Do I really look that old and needy?!”

My strategy now on public transport is to stand my ground, eyes averted, unless of course I’m particularly tired…seems my younger fellow passengers can’t win!

Beyond invisibility, something even more isolating can happen…

Loneliness

The loneliness of Beth, one of the main characters, at the beginning of episode one, is palpable.

Not having children, I can only imagine the sense of loneliness an ‘empty nester’ might feel. I know that’s not everyone’s story but sprinkle on divorce, bereavement or retiring from a fulfilling career and the loneliness door can swing wide.

Of course loneliness is not just the domain of the middle aged. It can happen at any time in life.

Which brings me to misogyny.

Misogyny

Some of the scenes in Riot Girls are hard to watch. Scenes that I’d hoped were from a bygone era; sadly, perhaps not so.

Women have made so much progress in their search for equality yet, in the times of Right wing and Trumpist politics, progress can feel fragile.

Thankfully, many, many men do not fit this mould nor subscribe to these views.

I’m not so sure what can be done about misogyny, other than education and calling it out should we see or experience it, but loneliness and invisibility?

Noon

It may not be everyone’s cup of tea to form a rock band and it can take courage to walk into an unfamiliar situation but opportunities for connection do exist. A fab group of midlife women I’ve found is called Noon.

Noon – a platform and community for women in in mid-life fondly known as ‘Queenagers’- was founded by Eleanor Mills when, after 23 years, she was made redundant from her role as Editorial Director at The Sunday Times. I’ve only attended one online Noon ‘Circle’ to date but that prompted a meeting with a fascinating Queenager from Cairns, Australia, in London this week to talk all things women, ageing and longevity! I’m looking forward to my first in person Circle next month.

My friends in the financial planning world are ideally placed to help women (and of course men) in mid-life identify how to structure a meaningful life beyond just money. Introducing wider conversations around wellbeing to include the importance of relationships and community with organisations like Noon might just be an intangible value add clients will never forget.

You

As ever I’m interested in you.

Firstly, have you watched Riot Women? What do you think? If you haven’t, do.

Secondly, have you experienced or observed loneliness and invisibility? If so, how have you countered these feelings? What did you do? Who with? What happened? if not for yourself perhaps others – friends, family, and for my financial planning friends, clients?

Brew yourself a cup of Yorkshire Tea and drop me a line, I’d love to hear from you.

And remember, you’re never going to be any younger than you are today, pick up the phone, call a friend, join that group you’ve been stalking, go on, dare you 😉

Until next week my friends,

Ruth x

ps The scone photo has nothing to do with anything other than I wanted to share the deliciousness-ness of them with you…does a more delightful treat exist?…I think not.

I hope you enjoyed reading my blog. If you did, please leave a comment, like, or share or subscribe, why not all 4? It’d make my day, thank you :-)

1. Tamsin Greig did a great interview on Radio 6 Radcliffe and Maconie show talking about Riot Women - go to minute c96. She also talks about another hero of mine, Nick Cave.