How to Make Plans When You Don’t Know What You Want #033

Hello Anti-goals

What do you want? What does a good life look like? What are your goals?

All big questions.

The kind of questions a financial planner, coach, or employer might ask. They’re difficult to answer at any stage of life—let alone as you approach your ‘1000 Weeks’¹ or any major life transition. Questions like these can make us feel inspired and excited or inadequate and pressured.

In week #031, I listed the 25 Concerns of those approaching retirement, but I didn’t talk much about goals.

In The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey says:

“If the ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step we take just gets us to the wrong place faster.”

But what if your ladder is stuck at the back of the shed, with no wall in sight?

The Problem with Goal Setting

Goal-setting requires us to imagine the future, which isn’t easy for many of us. Evolution has trained us to focus on our ‘present self’, with studies showing we often think of our ‘future self’ the way we’d think of a stranger². On top of that, by the time we get to where we thought we wanted to be, we’ve changed. We’re no longer the same person, and we no longer want what we thought we did!

And let’s face it, goal-setting takes time, energy and thought—scarce resources for most of us.

Anti-Goals

If you’re struggling to set goals, try anti-goals.

Anti-goals³ are a clever hack for when you don’t know what you want. You might not know what you want, but I bet you know what you don’t want. It turns out, inverting the question is the Dyno-Rod of planning—the great unblocker!

Knowing what you don’t want can help reveal what you do want.

Sure, anti-goals may not sound as inspiring as planning for your dreams, passions, or legacy, but if you find yourself stuck, it’s a powerful thought experiment.

Even though I wasn’t familiar with the idea of anti-goals, I’ve heard many versions of them from my financial planning clients over the years:

• “I don’t want to move from this house, ever.”

• “I don’t want to live here in retirement.”

• “I don’t want my standard of living to suffer.”

• “I don’t want to worry about money.”

• “I don’t want to leave a mess when I die.”

• “I don’t want to be a burden to my children.”

• “I want to leave all my capital to my children.”

• “I don’t want to leave any money to my children.”

• “I don’t want to be with him/her/them…”😊

One client in particular stands out. Her motivation to save for the future was based on a very vivid image of the future she didn’t want—living in a rented flat above a shop, unable to afford heating, sitting with a blanket over her knees, huddled over a Calor gas heater.

Wow. How evocative is that? Very Labelled with Love. She was determined not to let that happen; that vision helped us plan a future to prevent it.

You

So, how about you? What do you think? Do you have a clear picture of your future, or is it easier to think about the future you don’t want? What inconveniences or aggravations do you want to avoid? What regrets or disappointments do you want to prevent?

And more importantly, what are you doing to avert them?

Drop me a line—I’d love to hear from you.

Until next week, my friends.

Ruth x

ps If you have a mo, I’d be delighted if you could leave me a comment, subscribe or share 1000Weeks using the buttons below. Or leave me a ❤️ it leaves me smiling and keeps me writing, thank you.

1. 1000Weeks, the 20 years (ish) from age 60…

2. Hershfield, H. E., Cohen, T. R., & Thompson, L. (2012). Short horizons and small stakes: How financial decision-making is impacted by psychological connectedness to the future self. Journal of Consumer Research, 39(2), 377-392

3. Anti – goals – hat tip to  Brian Portnay of Shaping Wealth who introduced me to this term

Photo by Khashavar Kouchpevdeh on Unsplash