Circle of life…#074-075

…and the impact of Mills & Boon!

“Little did they know what an attractive trio they made as they sashayed down the ward. The flaming red head Sue, the sultry brunette Emma and the razor clipped Ruth, unaware of the House Officer’s admiring glances …”

…or that was the silly story we amused ourselves with after drinking too much Blue Nun and reading far too many Mills & Boon medical series books on night duty.

The passage of time

2,184 Weeks (or 42 years) later there we were, sitting in a quaint pub garden in a village just outside Reading, discussing our ‘remaining’ 1000 Weeks, if we’re lucky. And wondering, where did all those years go?

We’ve each woven our way through life following similar yet different paths. Marriages. Divorce. Career changes. Children. Illness. Changing sexuality. Losing parents. To name but a few.

Student nurses

Sue, Emma and me.

We trained as Student Nurses together at St Mary’s in Paddington in 1983. The days of starched aprons, silly hats and sensible shoes. The days when, after six weeks in Nursing School, nineteen-year-olds were let loose on poor, unsuspecting patients. Enthusiasm, laced with fear, substituting for skills and experience. We quickly learned how to be with people in their most vulnerable, naked and scared states.

Chewing the fat

Over lunch we chewed the fat. They spoke about their now adult children. The state of the NHS in which they both still work. Our relationships. Our siblings. My mum - me being the only one lucky enough to still have a parent alive.

We amused ourselves reminiscing about the years we spent together in the 80s, the flats we shared, the boyfriends who came and went, the music we each played¹. And marvelled at the strange stage of life we find ourselves at. Knowing how lucky we are to have choices, family and friends. To be fit and well even if some have endured health issues. Looking forward to working and worrying less. Twinged with concerns about retirement affordability.

We talked about the conversations we are having, or avoiding, with our partners about money, retirement and what ‘enough’ looks like at this stage of life. And at what stage we might shift from supporting children to prioritising our needs. Feeling the same as we did at 19. Yet mindful of our mortality, aches, and lingering health concerns.

The wonder of spending time with people who knew us before we became the person we are today.

Friendship

Who could have foreseen our paths. The elders we have become. And what lies ahead.

I wrote tangentially about friendship last September on my return from Sitges with my old school friends. Just recently I’ve read and listened to some thought-provoking pieces on the subject of friendship. They rightly identify that much is written about ‘romantic’ relationships - how to find, maintain and end them – and family relationships. But little about the equally important relationship of friends.

You

Friendship. It's a subject I will return to. Perhaps next week, maybe another time. In the meantime, call it research, I’m interested in You.

What does friendship give you that you don’t get from your partner or family?

Do drop me a line, I’d love to hear from you.

And remember, you’re never going to be any younger than you are today, what friend has been on your mind that you haven’t texted, phoned or emailed but have been meaning to? Just do it.

Until next week my friends

Ruth x

Ps sorry for missing last week…laptop and attention blip ;-)

1. The Politics of Dancing - Reflex, being a particular favourite

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