Who are you?

Who are you really? Who might you become?…

Spring is here!

I have been buoyed by the engagement with 1000Weeks since launch a few weeks ago.  A number of readers have generously shared their experience and thoughts about being in or approaching their 1000Weeks. 

It tickled me when one reader probed my claim that I had reached 1000Weeks, gently asserting that he knew I was older than 20 before swiftly realising I’m referring to the other end of the chronological telescope!

Another comment resonated with me:

“I enjoyed your post about not liking the word ‘retirement’ I decided to stop working a couple years ago, and I struggle with what to say when people ask me what I do for a living.  Retirement sounds like I’m an old fart! Saying I don’t work sounds like I’m lazy. And the whole “having a sense of purpose” thing, I had never imagined would be an issue for me but it is.”

More about purpose another time. I want to explore identity today.

Who am I?

This happened to me.  I was a business founder and owner.  A regulated financial planner who had built a strong reputation within the financial planning profession.  Who am I if I am not working anymore? 

Many of us have our identity co-mingled with our careers and roles.  When we meet new people, we find ourselves asking “What do you do?” searching for meaning in their reply; do we share common ground? Is this person interesting? What is their social status? How wealthy are they? Can they be useful to me? Is this the type of person I want to be friends with? 

Sounds shallow doesn’t it.  Perhaps it’s an evolutionary hangover from when our ancestors had to swiftly assess if the person they met represented danger.  Or maybe, the question is simply a social icebreaker enabling us to navigate social interactions and make human connections.

At gatherings, when asked the ‘what do you do’ question I find myself (still) saying “I’m a Financial Planner who helps people see that money is just a means to an end, not an end in itself, it’s just one facet of overall wellbeing”.  Maybe that is true.  Maybe it is OK to reference the role that has played such a large part in my life and which I remain passionate about even if I’m no longer practicing in a formal environment. I wonder how long it will be before I am comfortable to introduce myself as ‘blogger’…

Who are you?

By the time we approach or are in our 1000Weeks most of us have spent years in our careers or jobs. And other roles too, maybe daughter, wife, partner, mum, aunt, grandma…  But are these titles and roles who we really are? 

I discussed this with a friend over dinner.  She believes our roles are part of the beautiful mosaic that makes us who we are so why wouldn’t we reference them even if in the past tense.  She may be right. But I think the question is worthy of further exploration.

My challenge to you is this.  How would you describe yourself without mention of your role(s)? Who are you? Who do you want to be? Who are you really?  What would your metaphorical business card say?

David Bowie allegedly said “Ageing is an extraordinary process whereby you become the person you always should have been”.

Get creative, thing big, realise your hidden dreams, shed some skin, identify what no longer serves you. This is an opportunity to flourish.

I’d love to know how you get on.  Do drop me a line and tell me.

Until next week my friends,

Ruth x