What are you serving for dinner? …Elephant #108

“Before I go for a cigarette, can I just say, I can’t believe we aren’t talking about what’s going on in the Middle East right now”

So said my dinner host on Tuesday. She wasn’t wrong.

The Middle East

We five friends had gathered for a delicious dinner, to eat, drink a few glasses of wine, catch up on each other’s news, laugh and relax. As worldly wise, intelligent women in our 50s and (very) early 60s we inevitably stray into politics, workplace debates and world news so I’m sure we would have got to it at some point, but our host’s observation nudged the topic up our unwritten agenda.

The situation in the Middle East (can I still call it that?) hangs heavy doesn’t it. At once far away and yet so close.

I told of a friend of mine who’d been glued to Sky News. Not because he’s a news junkie but because he’s fascinated to watch the computer guided missiles rain down on Iranian targets almost in real time. In awe of the technology. Like some brutal computer game divorcing the reality of his observations from the death and destruction being caused.

People and personal

We spoke of our sadness for the plight of the civilian populations in Tehran, Bahrain, Doha, Dubai and all across the wider region. The horror of living with the fear of bomb strikes, debris and suffocating smoke. And of course we spoke of those war weary souls in the Ukraine.

We tried to imagine how we would feel if this was happening in London. What if a carefully guided missile suddenly took out 10 Downing Street and its inhabitants? Something that suddenly feels possible, even if not, for now at least, probable. What would we do? Where would we go? What would we need?

One friend suggested we prepare a ‘Go Bag’, a bit like a nearly at-term-mother might do. Water purifying tablets one of the necessities. Bicycles were deemed the best mode of transport. And head east…

What can we do?

We speculated how long the war might last and reached no conclusion. We speculated on the dangerous effect the war will have on our already fragile environment. The economy. The oil supply. Food supply. Not to mention the murder and displacement of hundreds of thousands of innocent people. This whole frightening and murderous nightmare seemingly orchestrated by half a dozen elderly men who seem to have lost all touch with the beauty of the world and human kind.

No conclusions. No idea what we can do. Vague ideas of joining a demonstration. We reconciled ourselves with remembering our circles of influence and control. A mantra I often remind myself of or speak of:

Can you do anything about it? If yes, do it. If no, remain informed but don’t worry, worry won’t change the outcome, it just spikes anxiety levels and makes you feel rubbish.

Often easier said than done…

And we returned to our normal dinner chat. Enjoyed our food, chicken curry not elephant as you ask, and wine, a crisp Viognier, and idled the rest of the evening away, burying our sense of unease for the rest of the evening at least.

But enough about me and my friends, as ever, I’m interested in you.

You

I’m pretty good at not worrying about things I can’t control but I will admit to a low grade feeling of unease. A feeling I recall from the early days of Covid when we had no idea what was going to happen next.

How do you deal with uncertainty and worry? How do you maintain your equilibrium when the world feels unhinged?

Make yourself a comforting brew and drop me a line, I’d love to hear from you.

And remember, you’re never going to be any younger that you are today, don’t put stuff off waiting for normal to return…you might just wait for ever.

Until next week my friends,

Ruth x

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