Hello friends,
It seems that last weeks blog, Enough hit a chord. Thank you for all your comments. More money-ish thoughts to get you thinking to follow.
Today I want to tell you a tale about two ages. Before doing so, if you’d like to know a bit more about my journey and my 1000Weeks ‘why’, take a look at this recent interview with my financial planning friend Chris Daems. It also gives you a sneak insight into my dancing and music loves 😊
I was with my Personal Trainer Uli this morning for my weekly weight training session. I love these sessions. I’ve always enjoyed exercise, whether netball at school (centre, for all you past and present netball players), crazy aerobics in Newcastle, (my home in the early 90s, most of the session spent doing grapevines and playing air guitars with the ubiquitous leg warmers and leotards obvs) through to running, running, running in my 30s and 40s, substituted in my 50s for yoga, Pilates, cycling and swimming. And, of course, weight training, after all, I’ve got to keep these ageing bones strong!
In between sets I asked Uli if he’d had a good weekend. He had, celebrating his 30th birthday with friends. It hit me, right there, this vibrant, athletic, charming man is half my age! I kinda knew it, but to hear it got me thinking.
As I puffed on, I decided that after I finished my next set (chest presses, Romanian deadlifts and hip thrusts as you ask) I would ask him how he felt hitting 30.
He beat me to it!
What was it like becoming 60?
He asked “what was it like becoming 60?” I hesitated. It was many things.
Disbelief – how on earth have I got ‘here’?
Questioning – am I now officially old? Afterall, when I hear a random news report of someone I don’t know who’s 60 my subconscious thinks “oh, old then”. Or is that just my own internal ageism?
A sense of my own mortality – hence my publication title,1000Weeks. Statistically my end is closer than when I was 30.
In contrast, and thankfully, I also felt:
Gratitude - to have got here, in one piece, happy and healthy. A number of my friends have not been so lucky.
Empowered - to know that many of my earlier life strivings and worries paid off and are behind me, and
Chuffed - that I can still hold my own on the dance floor 😉
His reply to becoming 30:
Surprise – it turned out that turning 30 didn’t feel as bad as turning 29 when he felt a fear of leaving his 20s behind and becoming old! I clearly recall that feeling, when you’re young, turning 30 does seem old.
Contemplation – a sense that he wanted to make his 30s matter to underpin his future, and
Excitement and anticipation - that he could use his experience, knowledge and energy to thrive in this new decade.
The reward of age
I reflected on our contrasting positions. We’re both happy in our own place. We both see and respect each other. We share common concerns and expectations but from differing perspectives.
For me, I concluded that whilst I am naturally not as fast, flexible and resilient as I was at 30, my reward is a sense of relief not have to worry about the constructs and expectations of that age; have I got a partner, should I get married, can I afford to buy a house, where will I live, do I want kids, how do I progress my career, how much should I be putting in my pension, do I need to ‘grow up now’…
Perhaps, becoming 60 and the gift of quite frankly not having to give a f**k about (m)any of those things anymore, feels like a fair exchange for relative youth.
You
But I’m interested in you, whatever age you are. What have been the serendipitous gifts around getting older for you? What would you tell your 30 year old self about getting older? And what do you no longer give a f**k about?
Do drop me a line, I’d love to hear from you,
Until next time my friend
Ruth x
I didn’t feel any impending doom when I turned 30: I felt like it was one big celebration of what I had managed to do by that age. It helped that I moved to Singapore age 28 which was always a life goal. Now 37 I feel your PT’s sense of ‘this decade will determine the rest of your life’ in a way I’ve never really felt before. I wish I had had that wisdom at 30 but knowing me I would have just worried about it an additional 7 years 😂 happy birthday to both of you!