The Comfort Trap – to be desired or avoided? #126/127
“Something feels off…I feel, dare I say, comfortable”.
Comfortable. It feels like a state to be achieved doesn’t it? Fluffy, warm, safe, secure, snuggly. But when talking to my coaching client Claire recently she had an insight which struck me.
Claire, not her real name, was telling me about her successful, long-standing, financial planning business. It’s profitable. She has a good team around her. New business happens without trying. Clients are loyal. She knows she is providing a worthwhile service. She’s worked hard and is, arguably, reaping her just rewards.
But something is off. Something that took her a while to identify and admit.
The admission
She no longer feels challenged. Worse than that, she feels a little bored, tired by her business. Slightly anxious about the AI story all around her – will it really take her job? Not sure what should be her next move.
She’s aware of her choices. She rehearsed them to me - Should she grow the business, sell or stay as she is?
Each has their appeal, but Claire doubts she has the energy to push the business forward again to grow, the thought of a larger team leaves her cold.
What will she do if she sells her business? She has been so entrenched in her business and family life for the last fifteen years she cannot even begin to imagine.
But the thought of staying as is for the next ten years saps her soul.
What’s making these feelings more pointed for Claire is her recent divorce and her children heading off to university and work.
She has reached a place of comfort, yet the sense of purpose that fuelled her to this stage is depleted. Not gone. But certainly, in need of topping up.
Sound familiar? Or a nice problem to have thank you very much!
Comfortable Claire is not alone. Comfort creeps up on us. And for many, it’s far from being a problem, it’s to be relished. In the short term at least.
But comfort without a purpose can lead to boredom and dissatisfaction.
It’s a dilemma I see with many business owners. And not one solved overnight.
Experimenting
For now, Claire is exploring a possibility that mixes and matches the initial three options she thought of. One which devolves more responsibility to her team, reviews current processes and works towards her doing a three-day week. Her plan - use the two days she frees up to explore a role with the Samaritans and take up salsa. This way she gets to keep her business, empower her team, free up some time personally and rediscover the purpose and fun she feels she’s missing. It may not be where she ultimately ends up, but the experiment is worth running.
You
As ever, I’m interested in you, business owner, employee or retiree. How does comfort show up in your life? What’s your relationship to it? And what have you done when comfort, but not contentment, has called to juzz up your life?
Do drop me a line, I’d love to hear from you.
And remember, you’re never going to be any younger than you are today, why not nudge yourself out of that comfort zone and take that next step – what will it be?
Until next week my friends,
Ruth x
Thank you for reading 1000Weeks. Please do join the conversation by leaving me a comment, a ❤️, subscribe or share. When I feel I’m flagging, it’s the thought of you reading that keeps me going. Thank you.
I can relate to this. For me it nearly always comes back to some kind of growth. This is what I need to feel alive, but it doesn’t have to be work related. Reaching a transition point can be discombobulating as we find ourselves with the “what next?” question. For me, this flipped into exploration and excitement, which is where I am now.
I wonder if comfort gets unfairly blamed. Maybe it’s not comfort that’s the problem, but what we stop doing once we become comfortable. If we stop growing, learning or challenging ourselves, comfort can start to feel like stagnation. But comfort with purpose can be a wonderful place to be.