“I’m advising on an experience I can’t know about” #109

Do you have to have experienced something to help others?

So said one of my financial planning coaching clients recently.

He’s working. He’s not retired. How can he know what retirement really feels like from the inside.

Right or wrong?

Factually correct but I think he’s wrong. He can give brilliant financial planning advice. He just needs to expand what that advice looks like.

Historically the financial planning sector has solved your money problem carefully guiding you to ‘enough’. The number. The figure that means you will hopefully never run out of money. An important and laudable task.

I’ve done it myself.

The financial planning sector is waking up to the realisation money, whilst a foundational element for most, only solves part of the retirement problem. A truth I have experienced in this liminal space I find myself in. I was fortunate enough to solve my money problem only to find the open space and time I gained came at a loss of identity, purpose and community.

As my wise coaching client said, how can he advise on a situation he hasn’t yet experienced?

I think he can.

Relational skills

Financial Planning is founded on technical skills – the spreadsheet, investment and legislative piece. Some financial planners are recognising the underlying place behavioural science has on how we humans think, behave and act. Our biases, beliefs and the impact our habits have on how we function, particularly around money.

The game changer for clients is the financial planner who also builds their relational skills – the relationship between the financial planner and their client.

I’m not just talking about building rapport, conversation and likeability. Important as these things are. Nor the relationship some planners seem to rely on – the football match, golf or dining experiences. Done well and infrequently perhaps they have a place. But our clients are not our friends and, overdoing such activities risk a conflict of interest. That’s not the relationship I’m talking about.

I’m talking about professional relational skills. Learned and delivered by coaching. Where the Financial Planner truly knows herself first - her preferences, biases, self-limiting beliefs and habits. She also learns how to actively listen to her client. What they don’t say as much as what they do say.

She develops personal insight and listening skills so she can help her client understand themselves better and truly identify the life that is theirs, not the life their family, friends, tradition, society or social media expects for them.

Signposting

Additionally, the financial planner of the future knows to talk about, discuss or signpost the wider aspects of life beyond work and the need for a balance across the five pillars of wellbeing identified by Rath and Harper I’ve spoken of before. These pillars can be vulnerable, or lost, when work ceases; purpose (which doesn’t have to have a capital p) meaning a reason to get up in the morning; social relationships, whether family or friends; finding a non-workplace community to replace a sense of belonging; ageing healthily, and of course money.

The successful financial planner know when to refer to or call in the help of others who might be more skilled in these areas. I’ve recently met two great women who are examples of this cross referral – Clare, an Occupational Therapist by training, who uses her understanding of physiology and psychology to help her clients in various life transitions. The other, Emma, a psychotherapist, who brings a deeper understanding of the therapeutic space for those clients who are really stuck or dealing with deeper emotional issues beyond the scope of coach training. Each professional bringing a new and rich dimension to the financial planning relationship and the at times difficult transition into a new chapter of life, one which may or may not include work.

As someone living through this, I can tell my coaching client with confidence he can provide ‘retirement’ advice, outside of the figures, he merely needs to expand his interest, skill set and ‘black book’.

You

As ever, I’m interested in you. For my readers who are financial planners do you think this remit is yours and how are you widening your skills? For my non-financial planning readers is your financial adviser or planner talking to you about these wider aspects of life post work? And if not, would you like them to? Do drop me a line, I’d love to hear from you.

And remember, you’re never going to be any younger than you are today, which of your five pillars of wellbeing do you need to pay attention to rather than waiting for tomorrow?

Until next week my friends,

Ruth x

ps The photo has a tangential reference to today’s post - it’s me and two fabulous financial planning friends of mine, Tina and Emily, and Rosie the dog, just before we enjoyed a delicious birthday lunch together at Shell Bay, Studland. Go!

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