Many have written about Gloria Steinem since she died aged 92 last week. I hesitated about adding to the multitude of missives before deciding I would regardless.
The thing is, to my shame, although of course I know of Gloria Steinem, I realise I know little about her – her life, work and achievements.
As a woman in her early 60s I sit on the cusp of a conformity to gender roles and women’s equality.
I was brought up to see the patriarchy as ‘just the way things are’, and although I’ve always had a sense that a traditional life was not for me, whatever that means, it’s only as I’ve got older, I’ve really got an appreciation about what feminism means. This understanding stemming from an awakening to the dual standards some of my friends endured growing up relative to their brothers beyond the mere allocation of pink and blue jobs. But also the experience of unequal pay, women being derided as bossy or opinionated for expressing a point of view or weak for expressing emotion in a meeting.
Feminism is not the negative bra burning, men hating, divisive narrative some might have us believe. It’s far simpler than that. It’s merely about equality. Equality between women and men, regardless of colour, race, religion and geography. I find it hard to understand how any human being can argue against that. Even if I know some (many?) do.
I’ve been lucky. As a white woman of relative intelligence, OK looks and general confidence I’ve been able to navigate the world reasonably easily. Often taking for granted the casual sexism I’ve experienced, not to mention being misunderstood or not heard when contributing to management meetings and board rooms. Hearing the words I have just spoken being uttered by a man suddenly finding resonance.
I have spoken with many women who because they haven’t overtly experienced sexism don’t believe in the feminist cause, nor that female only groups should exist. There may even have been a time when I felt the same. But I think I was wrong. Until we have genuine equality of voice, pay, and paternal and maternal rights which are seen as the norm, not the exception, we don’t have equality.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s getting better, and it’s certainly much better than the 80s and 90s but we still have a way to go. With the upsurge of the right, and chilling messages from some about a woman’s reproductive rights and a woman’s place being in the home which would help with men’s unemployment issues, we need to be on our guard.
This is not a men V women piece. I am very conscious not all men have an easy passage, particularly those who are introverted or exhibit more feminine traits. I also appreciate many young men seem to be struggling with their role in society and as partners to women. Men and women are different which is to be embraced and enjoyed not weaponised. But that wonderful fact should not take away from the principle of equality.
Gloria Steinem was a pioneer. Intelligent, articulate, funny, and as the world seems intent on noting, very attractive, a trait rightly or wrongly we still laud in society. We have much to be grateful for in her life and legacy. Watching the Netflix show ‘Famous Last Words’ last night I was taken by her presence, relevance and positivity. One line - which I may have inadvertently misquoted, but the essence is right - particularly struck me:
“Hope is a form of planning. Without hope, nothing happens”.
I remain hopeful we will find a time of equality. This feels a little like radical optimism in the current climate but my hope remains steadfast.
You
As ever I’m interested in you. What does feminism mean or look like to you? Do drop me a line, I’d love to hear from you.
And remember, you’re never going to be any younger than you are today, if there’s a cause you feel strongly about but are not sure how to add your voice, what small step might you take to show your support?
Until next week my friends,
Ruth x
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Thank you for this Ruth. Obviously(!), I agree with everything you have said on this important topic.
On the quote, my version would be that without hope what is the point of anything? Life can be messy, frustrating and downright difficult but it is hope that drives us on.
I consider myself a feminist and align with your definition. It is easy to get depressed about the push back at the moment and especially the narrative that 'men have never had it so hard'. It is good to zoom out and remember that there has been progress and that the only solution is to stay positive and stay alert.