Familiarity – friend, foe, or springboard? #111

Reflections from a Mediterranean island…

I rather fancy myself as a woman who relishes new things, change, different experiences. Yet arriving to Port Soller on Thursday for a few weeks with friends, I found myself gratefully relaxing into the familiar. Self-image dimmed!

The source

The source of my familiarity envelops me; the route from the airport, arriving into the Port, the hotel, the bars, the restaurants, the bike hire shop. The welcome from the restaurateurs remembering our annual visits. The Dorada, the Albariño, the various salts – local, Maldon and the forever untouched ‘eggy’ variety from Pakistan.

The cycle ride, climbing from the Port, up the switchbacks to Deia. The long slog from Deia slowly climbing to the peak, legs grumbling, head chattering, before the steep sharp down into Valldemosa. Lunch at Cappuccino, looking onto the town square, served by familiar waiters. All of us showing signs of gentle annual ageing. The arrival of more friends joining us for the umpteenth year running, all equally relaxing into the easy familiarity.

Competing yet compatible

The familiar v the unfamiliar? Each has its attraction. Competing yet compatible. Both have their place and balance.

Arriving to Port Soller offers predictability. Comfort. Anxiety falls away. An easy routine sets in. The ease of being with friends. Supporting each other through ageing parent worries and health niggles. Laughing, chatting, swimming and cycling up steep hills together. Time together and time apart. A welcome and easy escape from normal life.

But stay too long and the relaxing escape morphs. Boredom and a sense of stagnation seep into the initially welcoming routine. I start to crave difference, the unfamiliar. Something new, whether place, people or experience.

Claude, my AI of choice, tells me what I’m feeling is what makes us human. The tension between security and adventure. An evolutionary survival mechanism and the fuel of personal growth.

Each unique

Observing my friends I sense we each have differing tolerances for the new and the familiar. Whether in relationships, career, location, travel, pastimes, food…I guess that’s what makes each of us unique. Routine leading to contentment or discontent depending on where you land on the familiar – unfamiliar continuum.

Sometimes I feel too restless. Sometimes not enough. Maybe it’s enough to just recognise my own individual balance. Familiar foundations in one space giving me the courage to seek unfamiliarity in another. The boundary conditions ebbing and flowing as I move through time. One only existing due to the presence of the other.

You

As ever, I’m interested in you. Where do you sit on the familiar – unfamiliar spectrum? What are your familiarity non-negotiables and where do you seek novelty?

Pour yourself a comfortable drink of choice and drop me a line, I’d love to hear from you.

And remember, you’re never going to be any younger than you are today, what’s one familiar yet neglected thing you could do today to ease and comfort yourself?

Until next week my friends,

Ruth x

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